Begining again

I keep starting blogs and not continuing, my attention span is really not up to the task. Whatever, this time will be different, well actually I don't care. I'm not going to worry about this being read or not, I'm not setting out on doing something massive or that interesting, just writing it down.

I'm doing this for a number of reasons, here they are in no particular order:

I've started a course called a year to clear - I'm encouraged to write down my thoughts
I'm writing (several) books, or I want to, so all writing is practice, I wont write the book here of course, but I'm sure this will have some relevance.
This includes a cookbook I have in mind which will be a 5 year project documenting life where I live in Overvecht, Utrecht, NL. This cookbook will be a work of art, the lives, the food, the people, the place.
I have high functioning Autisme and ADHD, diagnosed earlier this year, still working out who I am and where I'm going with it.
I am a mother of two high functioning autistic kids, it's a roller coaster.
I am a wife of a highly gifted, autistic, hyper sensitive, depressed, recovering from a breakdown husband, I don't go on about it too much on social media, that wouldn't be appropriate or necessary but I want a space where I can write about it.
My hobbies (do I have time for hobbies?) are cycling and music. I sing in a choir and I want to ensure that I regularly get to make music with other people - it's good for my soul.
I cycle for transportation and enjoyment, not fast, not particularly far, but it's my moments of prayer, of contemplation, where my best ideas are formed and where I feel most connected to myself.
I am a homemaker, I don't have very much money for this, but with what I can find, I channel my imagination and creativity into my home for me and my family. Especially my garden, it's not much, but I am constantly looking out into it, walking round it and regularly adding or taking away. I love to grow things, I'm getting quite experienced. Right now, I have about half a metric ton of bricks waiting in the front garden that I got for free last week to make a planter and possibly a bbq in the back garden, together with some car tyres I found in a skip.
I am a practical person, I work well with my hands, I'm strong and I like to tinker - with bikes, the garden, a bit of art if I can, decorating, I want to try tiling and wallpapering if I can.
I am calendar coordinator for the IWCU - International Women's Club Utrecht - my job is to manage the member's calendar of events - mostly responding to emails asking for events to be added or changed and managing that on line calendar.

I love to learn, I love to read, I love to write, I love to listen, I love to watch, I love to move, I love to lounge about and watch telly with one of my boys, I love to grow stuff, I love to cook, I love to dance to music, I love to play music, I love to sing, I love to sleep, I love to bob about in water, I love to cycle, I love to help my friends, I love my husband, I love my boys. I even love to clean up my house and enjoy looking around at how nice it looks again, even if getting started is rare.

This coming year I will be starting a communal garden project together with others living nearby, to transform a bit of waste ground into a place to grow stuff. There is the possibility of a bee hive too. What goes on here is also going to be a part of the cookbook content - growing your own with a balcony or a small city garden.

So much of this is connected - writing is or should/could be the medium to bring it together, ideally to publish things that will inspire others in various ways. I am compelled and motivated by sharing what I know, bringing together what others know and making it available for as many as possible. I am inspired by others who are doing this and have done this. What holds me back is my lack of planning and ability to stick with things for very long - my attention span and lack of confidence. I get really enthused by an idea, then imagine it to the point it takes over the entire world, then I think about what I would have to do to make that happen. Then I realise I have two kids to look after and we all have autism which limits what I'm capable of (I couldn't do the whole, work, be a parent, study in my spare time deal that so many women can - by the evening, I'm done, plus I don't have much income so courses have to be free or cheap, stuff to do is invariably volunteer work) and park it with all the other ideas. I'm working out how to eat an elephant, how to make every day count and hopefully how to finally achieve even a fraction of the possibilities that have been born only to live in the great parking space in my mind.

August is almost done with, September is on it's way. In my head I keep thinking it's soon time to plant bulbs - my garden is established but sparse - we moved in last October and with the small amount of resources I have available, I'm slowly getting the garden to where I'd like to be. This includes buying copious amounts of bulbs on the market soon, and planting them.
Then there's the bricks waiting in the front garden - I've got a few ideas in my head, plus I will need 50 euros give or take or so for soil and some plants for the planters - or at least I want to get it to a point where in the spring, I can have a place to pop the baby plants in as they get big enough from seeds - flowers and edibles.

My smart phone is on it's last legs, there's no obvious source of a couple of hundred euros to replace that at the moment.

I'm organising a first aid course for the IWCU members, I need to do a refresher, right now though, I could do with postponing it to the spring, if I'm honest. If it goes ahead I'll know by the end of this week, that's set in motion.

This week I will be setting many things in motion and resuming things that have been 'on holiday' for the summer. I like beginnings, I'm watching carefully what happens next though.