Moving stuck energy

Yesterday morning, after getting the kids off to school, just as I was leaving for work, I had Rasperry Beret playing full on in my head. This was a relief as for weeks now, the Kick Inside was starting to feel more like some sort of spiritual possession. It stayed firmly playing in the back ground 24/7, yes even through the night and I was beginning to fear for my sanity.

So as I left for work, usual routine, headphones, phone, keys, coat, I knew I had Around the World in a Day on my phone, so searched for that, then Raspberry Beret, so the rest of the Album would continue on after.

On the way to work, I sung loudly on the bike, past the school, the park, under the railway. Raspberry Beret is a joyous tune. Again, an album from my youth, one that I remember spending time staring at the cover as it played. A lot. The first song by prince that got me hooked on the radio was When doves cry. I've never been in a family with domestic violence, fortunately for me, but that song touched something in me. It brought home to me the experience of the victim, the feelings of helplessness, loneliness, fear, need to escape, being torn apart by love. Closing down as much of your emotions as possible just to get through the day. Genius song. From a very young age, I was drawn to empathise with situations and emotions beyond my years or own experience. In part I felt grateful, but also I took it to mean Walk a mile in someone's shoes. You never know what's really going on inside a person, and the decisions we make, they aren't based on rational choices, but often better the devil you know, or just plain fear.

Around the World in a Day, in my opinion was Prince's finest album. I didn't realise it was his fifth album, it was his second with his band the Revolution. I was only really aware of Purple rain, to me this album came at a time when he had the comfort of Purple Rain behind him, but the heady heights of stardom you see with Parade, were still to come. It is also a study in Kookyness. It's a check list for high functioning ASD, it's a tribute to peculiar, sensitive, intelligent but pretty dysfunctional individuality. It was an insight into people who made more sense to me than some of the people around me. Looking at the internet information on the album, his band at the time had a lot to do with it's psychedelic nature as well. The cover was compared to Sargent Peppers, which he didn't like at the time. I really liked Wendy and Lisa, and watching them perform, even more so than watching Prince, in a way. They were real women, musicians and interesting looking individuals. Again one of the things I admired most about Prince was his respect for women as people and musicians. Raspberry beret was objectification, but not the usual sort of objectification, more nuanced, balanced.

It's a concept album of sorts, it's not an Album you can easily put on in the back ground, there are some tunes that really require your full attention, if you don't they are just too intrusive.

There are just huge hits; Paisley Park - the name he later gave to his home and recording complex and a clearly a personal expression of how this place exists in his imagination to process the pain and suffering of the human condition, as well as the love and spiritual being. Raspberry Beret, the song that really had me hooked, the rest are all really powerful songs. This album was a huge success reaching no.1 in many countries, but it's not a mainstream album at all. The A side hit the mainstream and my imagination too, the B side has a lot to offer, but it's an acquired taste.

Paisly Park, is that place where the colourful people congregate,

There is a park that is known
For the face it attracts
Colorful people whose hair
On 1 side is swept back
The smile on their faces
It speaks of profound inner peace
Ask where they're going
They'll tell you nowhere
They've taken a lifetime lease
On Paisley ParkIt's finding peace, acceptance and joy, for yourself and for others.
The girl on the seesaw is laughing
For love is the color
This place imparts (Paisley Park)
Admission is easy, just say you
Believe and come to this
Place in your heart
Paisley Park is in your heartThere is also a nod to those people you see on park benches, their lives not what they were, maybe they never were up to 'normal life'. It's talking about ordinary mental illness, depression, not as illness but as other being, from the point of view of the person in their world, a world that others seldom go. It's a world that we all know at some point in our lives to some extent.

There is a woman who sits
All alone by the pier
Her husband was naughty
And caused his wife so many tears
He died without knowing forgiveness
And now she is sad, so sad
Maybe she'll come to the park
And forgive him
And life won't be so bad
In Paisley Park

Then there's Condition of the Heart
There was a girl in Paris
Whom he sent a letter to
Hoping she would answer back
Now wasn't that a fool
Hardy notion on the part of a
Sometimes lonely musician
Acting out a whim is only good
For a condition of the heart

Every verse a sad story of heart break and loneliness

Thinking about you driving me crazy
My friends all say it's just a phase, but oh oh
Every day is a yellow day
I'm blinded by the daisies in your yardThen my favourite...

Seems that I was busy doing something close to nothing
But different than the day before
That's when I saw her, ooh, I saw her
She walked in through the out door, out doorThis was the woman I wanted to be, what I aspired to be at the age of 14, this was what a woman could be. She knew what she liked, she was able to look after herself. It's basically a one (day) stand, it's a chance encounter with this woman, but she stood out. She wasn't interested in 'settling down' , she was in interesting person, who dressed how she pleased and acted how she pleased. What was refreshing was hearing a man's point of view of a woman who didn't conform, a man who in his eyes this was a good thing, that he'd learnt stuff from this short encounter, that he'd been inspired by her and didn't see him self as the wise one, as an equal.

Then I saw the lyrics properly, naah, it's not like that at all, he's describing a moment in time, built like she was, I liked that line, because he was obviously lighter build than she was - most men I've loved were lighter than me, shorter than me. She wasn't too bright. Oh. I don't remember that line, in my story, she was cleverer than that.

It's a nice story of a day in the life of being young and free. I had a fair few days similar to this, often with a boyfriend rather than some random little bloke on a motorbike. The reference to him doing something close to nothing but different than the day before, the internet refers to Mr McGee as a racist referring to his skin colour and stereotypical idleness - but my interpretation was that a creative type is never bored, they might look like they aren't doing much, but it's not about productivity, it's a creative urge to see and do something different than the day before. So this person that Prince was describing himself as, was in my eyes the type of dropout creative type that to me seemed more authentic, trust worthy, and perfectly flawed.

My interpretation of this song is somehow so much more than the bare lyrics. It did mean something different to me, even if at the time I'd embellished the lyrics to mean more than they did. Now that I read them, maybe partly though the eyes of the 46 year old woman I am now, it doesn't sound as empowered as it did to my 14 year old self. It did empower me though, not in a way that I'd go round having affairs with random men on motorbikes, but to be a girl with a raspberry beret - I did have a second hand raspberry beret at one point in my 20's. I was independent, I wasn't taken in and I did what I wanted with whom I wanted.

Built like she was
She had the nerve to ask me
If I planned to do her any harm
So, look here
I put her on the back of my bike
And we went riding
Down by old man Johnson's farm
I said now, overcast days never turned me on
But something about the clouds and her mixed
She wasn't too bright
But I could tell when she kissed me
She knew how to get her kicks
She wore a
Raspberry beret
The kind you find in a second hand store
Raspberry beret
And if it was warm she wouldn't wear much more
Raspberry beret
I think I love her
The rain sounds so cool when it hits the barn roof
And the horses wonder who you are
Thunder drowns out what the lightning sees
You feel like a movie star
Listen
They say the first time ain't the greatest
But I tell ya
If I had the chance to do it all again
I wouldn't change a stroke
'Cause baby I'm the most
With a girl as fine as she was then
Well that was the Aside...